It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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