I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just had sex bonerless
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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