that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
