She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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