Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
