Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.

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  (810): Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it. http://tfl.nu/lg31
  Replies (8) Good night (640) Bad night (1564)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.

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  (404): Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn. http://tfl.nu/mlpv
  Replies (124) Good night (6051) Bad night (984)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.

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  (732): the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam. http://tfl.nu/4l2e
  Replies (26) Good night (1126) Bad night (6417)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.

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  (781): today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby. http://tfl.nu/f0c2
  Replies (96) Good night (16915) Bad night (1445)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.

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  (732): That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on. http://tfl.nu/n5bj
  Replies (20) Good night (4971) Bad night (2195)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.

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  (206): LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat. http://tfl.nu/zl1y
  Replies (6) Good night (2805) Bad night (1064)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  tell her thanks so much

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  (570): I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences. (484): tell her thanks so much http://tfl.nu/mozf
  Replies (5) Good night (2130) Bad night (622)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you

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  (304): Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you http://tfl.nu/fgii
  Replies (20) Good night (2971) Bad night (1052)
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.

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  (567): I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it. http://tfl.nu/gm4t
  Replies (2) Good night (1550) Bad night (503)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.

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  (207): I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered. http://tfl.nu/1qcp
  Replies (3) Good night (613) Bad night (762)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.

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  (513): Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation. http://tfl.nu/lwvq
  Replies (3) Good night (1158) Bad night (381)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.

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  (410): I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now. http://tfl.nu/a4rz
  Replies (7) Good night (1270) Bad night (365)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.

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  (956): Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout. http://tfl.nu/rol8
  Replies (0) Good night (748) Bad night (388)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure

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  (678): If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure http://tfl.nu/x8g2
  Replies (0) Good night (660) Bad night (298)
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  (619): View more from California

  I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics

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  (619): I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics http://tfl.nu/vxyz
  Replies (2) Good night (372) Bad night (238)

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