I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.