But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?