we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
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Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out