Texts From Last Night

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.

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  (937): We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now. http://tfl.nu/61xt
  Replies (32) Good night (3134) Bad night (787)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.

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  (717): Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does. http://tfl.nu/07b3
  Replies (34) Good night (2408) Bad night (1346)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.

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  (403): Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now. http://tfl.nu/qiaj
  Replies (40) Good night (8968) Bad night (834)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Don't worry. I has chaperone.

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  (270): Don't worry. I has chaperone. http://tfl.nu/r0c5
  Replies (24) Good night (6266) Bad night (1323)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"

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  (507): You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!" http://tfl.nu/pues
  Replies (7) Good night (3727) Bad night (960)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.

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  (360): I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds. http://tfl.nu/g0ca
  Replies (6) Good night (1571) Bad night (677)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid

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  (231): if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid http://tfl.nu/52hr
  Replies (3) Good night (744) Bad night (2042)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning

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  (630): We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning http://tfl.nu/kk2v
  Replies (6) Good night (1344) Bad night (550)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.

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  (843): She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative. http://tfl.nu/fw1n
  Replies (1) Good night (388) Bad night (594)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Come through the front door when you get here.

  (1-516): View more from New York

  Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.

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  (516): Come through the front door when you get here. (1-516): Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window. http://tfl.nu/uers
  Replies (4) Good night (933) Bad night (433)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.

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  (954): Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat. http://tfl.nu/msv0
  Replies (10) Good night (1335) Bad night (409)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.

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  (407): When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud. http://tfl.nu/kqei
  Replies (5) Good night (1170) Bad night (327)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus

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  (540): why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus http://tfl.nu/csxp
  Replies (5) Good night (323) Bad night (760)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...

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  (517): Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night... http://tfl.nu/6g5l
  Replies (1) Good night (316) Bad night (744)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why is there a cash register on top of my car?

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  (215): Why is there a cash register on top of my car? http://tfl.nu/nfm6
  Replies (1) Good night (585) Bad night (346)

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