Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position

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  (925): I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position http://tfl.nu/2xnt
  Replies (15) Good night (1254) Bad night (4524)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy

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  (904): i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy http://tfl.nu/fggt
  Replies (15) Good night (3882) Bad night (866)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out

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  (304): tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out http://tfl.nu/97pi
  Replies (9) Good night (1299) Bad night (5607)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better

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  (780): No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better http://tfl.nu/pitl
  Replies (42) Good night (7800) Bad night (2314)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.

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  (812): theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit. http://tfl.nu/gou5
  Replies (11) Good night (3814) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.

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  (540): If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year. http://tfl.nu/169q
  Replies (9) Good night (2976) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.

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  (405): Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved. http://tfl.nu/fkxo
  Replies (4) Good night (1421) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.

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  (618): I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list. http://tfl.nu/7l9z
  Replies (7) Good night (1210) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs

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  (507): You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me (815): I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs http://tfl.nu/bc51
  Replies (2) Good night (2094) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?

  (406): View more from Montana

  Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

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  (239): Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ? (406): Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time. http://tfl.nu/y05k
  Replies (6) Good night (1530) Bad night (492)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "

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  (317): I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time " http://tfl.nu/0ln5
  Replies (4) Good night (1020) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends

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  (613): We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends http://tfl.nu/r2xw
  Replies (0) Good night (754) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.

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  (602): WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL. http://tfl.nu/p33r
  Replies (1) Good night (628) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!

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  (416): I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!! http://tfl.nu/9ge9
  Replies (3) Good night (322) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad

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  (386): only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad http://tfl.nu/8a8k
  Replies (3) Good night (114) Bad night (318)

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