I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
