bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
