i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
