I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Houston, we have a blender
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Dear god my vagina.
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