Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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