eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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