i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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