is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
