but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
