She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Shame is for Republicans.
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