Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
