And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
