I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he puts the penis in happiness.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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