We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
