Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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