Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
