You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
