your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
