This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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