Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
