Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
