Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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