i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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