so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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