honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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