I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
