So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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