Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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