This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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