How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
