I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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