If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Randomize
