i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
