No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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