is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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