dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
