I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
