What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize