His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
