I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
