You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
