My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
