Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
