Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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