Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
