Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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