AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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