the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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