ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
