i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
