Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
