So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
