We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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