I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
