I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
So here I am, sexting at work.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
