im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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