She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
