Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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