don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
