yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
And then my night got REAL pukey
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
