During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?