I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
