My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
