Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
