Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
