saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
