I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
