I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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